IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic
Crime is a problem all over the world and there is nothing that can be done to prevent it. Agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Crime is one of the major issues that all the countries have been facing recently. Some people believe that there is nothing that can be done to prevent crime. I completely disagree with this opinion and feel that crime rate can be controlled with appropriate measures.
On one side of the argument, there are some people who believe that crime cannot be regulated. According to them, criminals prevail all over the world and they try to commit various illegal activities. No matter how many prevention measures are taken by the individuals and the government, several people make their daily living through activities like robbery, theft, murder, hate crimes, and others. In fact, once a person is convicted of crime it is nearly impossible to get a regular job. This is because most employers hesitate to hire workers with a criminal background making such individuals turn back to crime to make a living.
On the other hand, there are people who argue that crime can be prevented. The government needs to frame strict rules to control crime. Moreover, there should be fear of punishment. For example, the crime in the US is just 2% whereas in Somalia it is 50% and the main reason is strict rules in the US. Apart from the government, individuals can contribute to preventing crime through strict family values and monitoring their children on a daily basis.
After having discussed the pertinent points related to the issue, I feel that the only logical conclusion is that crime can be prevented through appropriate action by the government and individuals.
Total Words: 273
Task Achievement: 9
Coherence & Cohesion: 9
Lexical resources: 9
Grammar: 9
Overall Score: Band 9
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Comments are closed.
I don’t think that a 231-word Task 2 essay, with poor writing hedge, unnecessary wordy expressions, few of topic-related words, can reach a perfect 9.0 score.
While there are some really good model answers, this one cannot get anything higher than 7.0 (and I don’t even bother to find any grammar mistake, yet).
how 231 words essay can get 9??
Hello, if i completely disagree, shouldn’t we write two reasons supporting that crime can be prevented and tackled? Is it that we write both views( why people thinks crime cannot be regulated and some believe that it can be regulated), so that we can get band 8 /9 that is similar to a structure of discussion essay?
Dear Irene,
You can discuss just one side of the argument if you completely disagree. This would easily get you up to Band 7.
However if you wish to score BAnd 8 & 9 then it is better to discuss both views and justify why you agree with one.
Cheers,
Atul.
Can I discuss both point agree or disaree with relevant examples for upto 8 band?
Yes, you can discuss both sides in an agree/disagree essay by saying that you partially agree with the topic statement. However this would only account for Task achievement part of the score. Rest of the score will depend on your vocabulary, grammar and C&C scores.
Cheers,
Atul.